If I Lose You Tonight
by IDTARDIS
Summary: Don't run away, I cannot live without you, please stay and I will learn to love you right. Rated M due to Jack perviness.One last thing do not let the tittle fool you, It is not about COE.Please review.
1. Jaded

**Disclaimer:** _Has anyone realized that Myfanwy is dead? What did the poor thing ever do to him?_

**Jaded**

_**You're thinking is so complicated! I've had it all up to here. But it's so overrated, Love and hate it! Wouldn't trade it, Love Me Jaded**_

"I came back for you!" Those words hung in the thick air, as blue eyes stared at him in disbelief. His mind could not grasp its meaning; those eyes began to hunt him like a ghost. This whole thing about a date was pointless. Then why did he keep building expectations? He looks in the mirror while fixing his hair, as an ageless face stared right back at him; for he does not look his age, never has and never will. Long time ago he had forgotten how old he really was. He looked again wanting to check his appearance one final time, he was wearing a tie; he shook his head for he never one of ties, unless they were used for bondage. So why should he start now. It was only Ianto after all, good old Ianto. Who had seemed annoyed at his preposition of a date, is not as if he has someone else, did he? No, he was sure of that, Ianto would have said something about it otherwise. He had waited for right time to come back, god he loved to be dramatic; he was expecting Ianto running in to his arms at the sight of him. What he did not expected were those eyes questioning him and not trusting a word he said. Why? Why could not Ianto believe he wanted a fresh start, he took off his coat. He wanted to be informal for this date, for once leave Torchwood in the hub. Although he had no idea where they were going, he had let Ianto decided in order to sound less pushy. Ianto did not say a word to him the entire day; he stayed far away as possible from him, maybe Ianto had change his mind, he couldn't help but wonder and his answer was right there at his office doorway, trying to decide if going inn was a good idea.

"Pick me up at six." Ianto said peering in to Jack's office not actually going inside, Jack just stared at him with dumb look for a second, and then a smile crept to his face when his brain assimilated the information, he just nodded. "You still remember where I live, do you?"

"I do…" Jack said watching Ianto role his eyes, finally turning his back to leave. How could he forget where the other lived, he could easily find the place while blind foiled; he just needed to follow Ianto's alluring scent. He stared at his finger going white for grabbing the chair so hard, he need to collect all the self-control possible in order not to jump at Ianto and fuck him so hard that he would forgive him for leaving. However, this was a new opportunity and he was not going to mess it up just because of his pheromones. He let Ianto go, with just a smirk on his face. - "I will be there at six, I promise. Uhmm, Ianto where did you say we were going? Should I wear a coat?"

"I did not say, and be there at six or I will leave without you." –Ianto said without turning his back and shouting from the stairs.-"About the coat, do as you wish. You always do anyway"

Jack turned his attention to the CCTV, he saw Ianto disappear from the exit of the tourist office and then appear in the parking lot getting on his car, as everybody else were getting ready to leave as well. Toshiko left not before waving good-bye, Gwen wave also but hesitated; not actually wanting to leave but her decision had been made for her as her phone rang causing her to eventually part.

"Uhmm, here is the report you wanted,"- Owen turned to leave but stood in the doorway. –"Ah, Harkness… One more thing"

"Yes,"- Jacks attention was in the reports but he notice the serious pause that Owen used, and turns to face him.

"Go easy on the boy. It has not been easy for him, you know?"

"I know." - turning his attention back to the reports, trying not to look interested in what Owen was saying. What if he cared about Ianto, this was none of Owen business "OK, night Harkness." Jack finally got up of his seat once Owen had left; as he placed the reports aside, he went down in to his so-called bedroom.

**NOTE:** _I know is short. Thanks to my beta Clouds lover, who is still apparently not comfortable with her perviness, but we are getting there. Next chapter Ianto's point of view, PLEASE let me know what do you think about this one, do not hesitate. I am standard, would take anything, love, hate. Just say something please._


	2. Stuttering

**_Disclaimer:__ Do you really want me to stop and show you the right I have to write this? Did not think so… (Stops holding breath and walks away faster)_**

**Stuttering **

_**I know this is so symbolic of everything. Everything that is wrong with you and me, so tell me what I am supposed to do. It has been ages since we have been honest, but I can make changes if you really want this. So maybe I will just keep my mouth shut, at least until you kiss me.**_

He stood in the middle of his bedroom, which was currently a mess; clothes everywhere expensive ties now lying in the floor, and still nothing that he put on looked good enough. Why did he care so much? It was after all only Jack, He could be naked and Jack would not care. On the other hand, he would care so much that the whole date would go to hell, and he did not want that, he had missed him so much it hurt. Thousand of butterflies had a party in his stomach as soon as he had heard his voice. While searching the office with Jack making all those kinky remarks about office relationships, he had to fight the urge of forgetting why he was mad at him. Then Jack had come out with the most ridiculous idea in the whole history of time: a date.

His first instinct had been to throw a stapler to Jack's head and render him unconscious. But what good would that provide, after all he would just feel sorry for hitting him, for it was Jack who was supposed to feel sorry not him. What was the point of this so-called date? Making sure that his knees would still weakened at mere sight of him. He could easily probe that without the need of going out. He grabs another shirt and looks in to the mirror; suit or no suit, become the ultimate question now. He looks to the floor thinking of the time he is going to spend in organizing his closet once more.

Once finally agreeing with jack, another question had begun haunted him. After he asked about John, Jack simple response had been, "He is part of my past and I want him gone." Why? Was the real question he wanted to ask instead of just nodding and allowing Jack to leave without a proper explanation. All day he had been thinking about that, when the time came would he Ianto Jones be only a part of his past also. Would he ever want to erase all the memories of them being together? He knew the most probable answer for that was, yes. Then why go on with this. Why would Jack allow him to build castles in the sand just to step all over them in the future? It was ridiculous, and yet he knew he could never say no to Jack, when had he become such a masochist.

No suit, just a jacket, although the place was semi-formal he could get away with wearing a jacket. He had no clue were to take Jack on a date, he had not been in a date since Lisa, and pretty much did not want to end up in a gay bar. He thought about asking Owen, he was out in dates almost all the time. Then an image of Owen laughing at his face and saying disgusting made him decide otherwise. He thought about Gwen, but in his mind it sounded as if he was about to stab her in the heart, or rub it on her face. He was not sure about Toshiko; he almost never saw her go on dates. However, she had gone out with Mary. After approaching her in the most discrete way possible, first she had giving him a look that said. Are you going out with him after what he did to you? However, to his surprise her response had been "I think you make a great couple." They had spend hours in Google looking for the right place, and after narrow it down to two places he had made a choice" Japanese cuisine, who cares that jack could not eat with chopsticks. It was a nice place, semi-formal, private, and away from the hub.

Putting on a third Jacket, caused him to pause for he remember that one, he had been wearing it the first time they had meet. Again, it follows the other two to the floor, and decides for the last one. He was just about to grab a tie, when the doorbell rings.

"Fuck"- He curses under his breath and goes on to open the door holding back a smile.

_**Authors Note**__**: Thank you everyone who had read this, but why not take it to another level, just tell me what do you think about it. Please do not hesitate even if you hate it.**_


	3. Don't Wanna Give You Back

**Disclaimer:**_**Of course, I don't own them, what kind of question is that. (Runs to a corner crying)**_

**Don't wanna give you back.**

**_I can't remember how it went. You looked like everything I wanted, and as you came along, slowly everything began to change. I'd hate to think I'd been fooled once more, and as the vision fades, I'll say I was blinded by your eyes..._**

The ride in the car was disturbingly quiet; Ianto did not say a word, other than just giving Jack the instructions to the restaurant. This was just outside of Cardiff. Jack had only made a quick comment as how well Ianto look without a suit, and that had only gained him a shy smile from the younger man who softly said thanks as they head towards the car.

They were the bar waiting to be seated. Ianto was sipping on a cup of warm sake while Jack was drinking water as usual. For once Jack was speechless watching Ianto slowly part his lips as the warm rice wine left them moist after each sip. He felt jealous of the cup in Ianto's hands, having the opportunity of touching Ianto's mouth every time unlike himself. Ianto caught him staring and a soft blush took over the younger man's face, although Jack tried hard to hide the grin that was forming because of this, but sadly, he couldn't.

"Are you sure about this Ianto?"-He leaned over just s bit so Ianto would be the only one able to hear him.

"What do you mean?"- He whispered without even noticing. - "This was your idea."

"I know that… It is just… You could have said no. You do know that, don't you?"- He said looking for refugee on his glass of water. –"It's not like a force you or anything, did I?"

"No, you did not."

Jack opens his mouth to say something more but they were interrupted for the waiter. After they were seated, waiting for the food to come Ianto notice two girls staring and giggling at Jack. Typical he though, Jack could be wearing a paper bag over his head and clown shoes and still his charms would be enough to get giggles out of girls. He decided to let it pass, since he would not be doing a show over some silly girls.

"I see that Gwen decide that you can be part of the field team…that is good is in it?"- He was about to slap himself for not finding another topic to talk about, but work.

"It is… but do you really want to talk about work right now."- Ianto replied on his more serious voice.

"No… not really…" –He gave a sigh, as he drank a bit of water, and came back for more.-"Let's start again; I like how those pants suit you."

Ianto choke on his water "What kind of topic is that?" the blush was more noticeable now.-"This is typical of you! You can't expend five seconds without flirting with anyone."

"Are you jealous?"- Jack said holding back a grin.

"What is with the stupid questions today?-Trying hard not to get up and leave.-"Of course I am not jealous, in order to be jealous we will have to be something, and we are not. Are we? Why are we doing this? I thought you were happy with no commitment, just a fuck here and there. When you feel like it."

"Ian..."

"I am not finish! Why did you ask me out? Is it because Gwen is getting married? When did you decide asking me before or after she told you? Because I am pretty sure she told you already."- He took a deep breath, and turned his attention to the floor. - "This is pointless."

"Can I talk now?"- For once, the grin disappeared and all that remain was a pretty serious Jack. - "I told you I came back for you"

"No, you said you came back for all of us."- He drank some water to clear his throat.-"That does not say anything to me. What if she was not engaged would you still be here for me?"

"What do you mean?"- Not really wanting to assimilate the question Ianto put in the table.

"Am I your rebound?" –He looked up to catch Jack's reaction.-"Because if you haven't notice you do not need one, I am pretty sure she will drop everything just to be with you."

"What if I told you I don't want her?"-Leaning in to the table to get more near. - "What if I told you I want you?"

"Well you have a funny way to show it, and I don't believe you."- His eyes went to the girls again whom smile back to him and giggle. – "Fine, let say I believe you. Are you actually ready to jump in to a relationship? Do you even want to?"

"When I was away, I had a lot of time to think. I missed the whole team. But, I was worried about you. I left without an explanation. I knew that I was going to be hard especially for you. What I did not count on was that I missed you, the way you kiss me, your smell, your bloody coffee in the morning, the way you hold me every time I revive, but you know what I missed the most." –Ianto just moved his head in a negative way. –"I missed your eyes smiling at me" Ianto just stared "You don't believe me, do you?"

"Does it really matter?" –Ianto got up while Jack stared at him in panic. –"I need to use the bathroom."

He made his quick escape into the bathroom, which for a pretty busy restaurant was empty. He was mad more than mad, he could easily go and kill Jack himself. He leans into the sink and washes his face since tears of anger are trying so hard to escape. He is trying to regain calm without looking in the mirror when the door opens. He finds himself pushed into a wall before he can even see who was at the door.

"I don't know the future would bring and I really do not care; all I know is that I want you." –He turns Ianto around to face him. - "Let me put it on terms you can understand, I need you, and you only. Is that clear enough for you, Ianto Jones?"

"Cristal."- He moves forward allowing Jack to give him a full on kiss.

**Authors Note:** _**Thanks to my beta Cloudslover, who allowed me to bug her for two days or so. Please do review, let me know what you think about it.**_


	4. Two Beds and a Coffee Machine

**Disclaimer:** _**Sadly, only the perviness in this text belongs to me. **_

**Two Beds and a Coffee Machine**

**_ "Show my cards, gave you my heart, wish we could start all over. Nothing is making sense at all. Tried to open up my eyes, I am hoping for a chance to make it alright. When I woke up, the dream is not done. I want to see your face, and know I made it home. If nothing is true, what more can I do?__"_**

"So how did it go?" – Was the first thing Tosh asked as soon as she entered the tourist office. Ianto was trying to put papers and pamphlets in order; he just gave her a shy smile and signals her with his eyes that they were not alone in the room. Owen was behind her. – "Oh, did you know is freezing outside?"

"I am pretty sure it is. I will bring you a cup of warm tea in a moment." – He said with a smile to her.-"Jasmine, perhaps?"

"Thanks Ianto." – She was about to say something else but was cut off by Owen who seem to be in a hurry.

"Yes we all know Tea boy is adorable… Now stop distracting him. That is Jack's job…" – He literally pushed Tosh towards the door.

It had been almost a week since Owen had started calling him tea boy again, about the same time jack had proposed the ridiculous date. Still the teasing had been minor than before, someone could even say it was friendlier, Ianto took a note to bring him real coffee for once. By the time, he went up with a round off coffee and tea, it turned out they had a visitor.

They were all gather on the interrogation room, and Jack was questioning a frighten woman. I will say questioning but it was more like yelling an accusing, the poor woman did not even know who they were, where she was, or what was really going on. The usual "I cannot wait to get in to your pants" grinning Jack had been replace by the "I will rip your skin off with my bare hands if you do not tell me what I want to hear." Ianto waited upstairs, Tosh was going back and forward trying to gather information while Owen just looked impatient on a corner watching the show just like him. Jack suddenly approached him; he could feel all the bad energy emanating from Jack, so Ianto went for it.

"Just us... In this room... For as long as it takes." – He leans forward so only Jack can hear him.-"Terrifying."

"Really?" –He just could not believe that after all the tension between the two of them, during a whole week, the horrible date when Ianto had sent him home alone, and on which he had obviously failed to erase all the doubts Ianto had about him. After all that, his little coffee boy did not cease to amuse him.

"Absolutely. Shivers down my spine." –He says shyly since Owen is standing very near them.

"You do not look scared." –On that moment, Jack realized he did not know when all the tension had left him. It takes two to play the teasing game, and Ianto obviously was in for it.

"Well, it... passed." –He attempted to look like shy-virginal boy, which Jack seems to love so much.

After saving the world, again, Ianto was left to do the clean up. He was closing the tourist office thinking whether to go dispose of the body first, start with the paperwork or feed the pets. Owen passed by in a hurry. Saying something about he was done with the autopsy, Jack was looking for him and that he was tired of Chinese food. Gwen followed him; she went out quietly, just giving him a tired smile. Ianto wonder if she was finally over Jack, yet again he did not wanted to go there. Then there was Tosh.

"Everybody left already?" – She whispered, looking at the CCTV.

"Yes, no one left but Jack." – He kept on cleaning.

"So, how did it go? Are you guys back together?" –Ianto just moved his head in negative way. - "Well are you guys going to? Is this why he is being acting all cranky? Did you say No?"

"No. I did not say no." – Tosh smiled.-"But I did not say yes either." – She gave him a desperate look. – "I told him I needed time to think about it."

"Ianto, I know he has his flaws and everything but he does care for you, I am pretty sure."

"Hum, did he send you?"

"Of course not, Ianto!" – She tried to look aggravated but failed. –"Oh, Ianto..." –Se gave a sigh –"He wants to talk to you, he said he will wait on his office. I got to go. Wish you luck!" – An with that she walk out the door.

After given it a little thought, he decided to stop hiding from Jack.

"Jack."- He said standing at the last steep of the stairs, while Jack was sitting on his chair giving him his back.-"Toshiko said you wanted to see me."

"Yeap, are you done with the cleaning?"- Still not facing him, Ianto was beginning to fear he would be naked.

"No, I just closed the tourist office." - Trying to get a pick of what was behind that chair. – "Owen said I could dispose of the body, so I guess I will start with that."

"Mind if I help you." – Jack finally got up, to Ianto relief and disappointment. He was dressed.

"I do not mind at all Sir." – Said Ianto leading the way to the incinerator. Jack was starting to prepare the body for the process, while Ianto stood next to him eyes on the floor. –"Poor woman at the end she did not know what she was." –Almost making Jack jump at the sound of his voice. –"Did you die… When you were away?" –Jack just nodded. –"How many times?'

"Several." – He responded not daring to look in to Ianto's eyes.

"Was someone there to help you, when you revived?" – Closing the distance between the two of them. Jack just gave him a sad smile as an answer.

"I believe you are the only one who cares enough to do so, or at least you used to care."

"I still do." – Jack took the advance and embraced Ianto on a kiss. Against his mouth, Ianto whispered. –"It's okay, I am here, and I am on your side."

Ianto's body softened as Jack's kiss deepened, the pressure of his mouth seeking more and more from the young man. His hands pressed to Jack's chest; slowly they slid upward to encircle the back of his neck, his fingers getting lost on his hair. Jack wrapped his hands around Ianto own, putting him between the wall and him. His groin had hardened with desire, he felt him press his hips against his mimicking the movements. Desperate to touch him, he started pulling Ianto's shirt only to find out how annoying a vest could be if you are in a hurry. He could not get rid of it but his hand went in to re-explore the flesh beneath, he felt Ianto moan against his lips once more with his touch, his hand crawl all the way up taking one of Ianto's nipples hostage, with this the kiss turn more ardent, their tongues playing a game that no one seem in a hurry to win. He felt Ianto's hands working on his shirt trying to get rid of the suspenders. He pulled apart just a bit to see his own reflection on those blue eyes that he had missed so much, Ianto never looked more sexy before, shirt untucked, tie undone, his hair all messed up, his breathing pitching high, and so, so ready for him. Jack went in for another kiss; he wanted him there against the wall or on the floor. His hands started to fumble with Ianto's belt, and then he felt Ianto's hands trying to push him away.

"Jack…" – He whispered, although there was no reason for it. The other did not stop. –"Jack, wait."

"I am sorry Yan, I though…It just…" – He looked all over for an apology but the sounded like lame excuses. Ianto saw him struggling and took his hand between his.

"It is ok… Is just that I don't think is appropriate to do it in front of a body."

Jack's eyebrow quirk up at this comment, Ianto had been teasing him all day, making sure Jack notice him, with little comments, and child like actions, but now when they were actually about to go down to business literally, his kinky coffee-boy turned shy.

"Would you do it in front a weevil?" –He threw the comment and waited for Ianto to run away in fear.

"Depends, does he has to participate?" – He said back to Jack, like a calm lake after a storm.

"Not unless you want to."

**Authors Note:** _**Sorry it took so long, but is out there now! Reviews are more than welcome, send those little comments to keep me inspired. Thanks again.**_ Thanks to my beta Cloudslover for helping.


	5. Hold me Tonight

**Disclaimer: Even though the rights are his, do you really think he did a good job?**

_**Hold me Tonight...**_

_**"I might need you to hold me tonight. I might need you to say it is all right. I might need you to make the first stand. Because tonight I am finding it hard to be your man… More than angry words, I hate this silence it is getting so loud. I am willing to do anything, to calm the storm in my heart."**_

"This time tomorrow he'll be back in 1918." - He did not need Ianto to announce himself; he knew it was him just by the sound of his footsteps, or the smell of his cologne.

"In his own time." – Ianto stoops nearby, but still hesitates, not actually knowing how to ask. - "Would you go back to yours if you could?" –Not wanting to show how afraid of the answer he actually was but his tone of his voice betrayed him.

"Why? Would you miss me?" – He threw the question at Ianto with a hint of sarcasm. Their relationship had not been what Jack was expecting when he got back. First he had plan to convince Ianto he was sincere about his feelings but then John appear and he knew by Ianto's actions that he was not being trusted. He thought of asking Ianto out as a peace offering, but the other thought Jack was mocking his feelings, and again he did not believe a word he said. Then was the kiss on the incinerator room, he knew Ianto was ready, he was sure of it and still Ianto pushed him away. He could not offer commitment at least not in the way humans were used to.

"Yep." – He saw Jack taking a deep breath and relaxing at his answer, as if this whole time he was afraid of getting a different one. He closes the distance and stands next to the captain.

"I left home a long time ago. Do not really know where I really belong. Maybe that does not matter anymore." – Ianto closes the distance slowly while Jack still talking, and stands next to him.

"I..."-He sits on the desk facing Jack-"I know you get lonely." – He was well aware of that, he knew Jack had needs but what about his needs. Maybe he was just barking at the wrong tree.

"Going home would not fix that. Being here, I have seen things I never dreamt I would see. Loved people I never would have known if I had just stayed where I was." – He stops and just for a second he looks directly into Ianto's eyes – "And I would not change that for the world." – He had his answer now; there was no point on fighting anymore. The only way to get what he wanted was by resigning his post, so he threw the towel and gave inn.

The kiss took Jack by surprise but not too much that he could not react in time for it. He kissed Ianto back, a kiss lacking in lust, but full of hope and comfort. His fingers playing with Ianto's hair no longer caring they were in the middle of his office, that the world could be ending the next day. Jack pulled away first to look at Ianto, to make sure this was right.

"Ian… Are you sure?" – He searched on those deep blue eyes for any sign of doubt, what he found was determination and something else, but he dare not put name to it.

"Shih…" – Ianto went in for another kiss this time his hand going deeper into Jack's unbutton shirt.

"I cannot make any promises…" – He pulled apart once more this time making sure he had Ianto's attention.

"Shih…" – He drew a line of light kisses starting from Jack's mouth all the way to his right ear. –"You are thinking too much." –Ianto purred it in to Jack's ear making the other feel Goosebumps in all the right places. He gave a lick to Jack's earlobe and the pulled apart to see his reflection in the Captain's eyes. –"And I do not believe this is the time for negotiations or is it?"

Ianto quirked an eyebrow, while giving the last statement and that was more than enough to send Jack's pheromones in frenzy. He got up Jack's fingers enlaced within his own. Without any more comments, second thoughts or irrelevant ideas he lead the way to the Captain's bedroom. Before he noticed, they were already inside and on top of the bed, Jack getting rid of Ianto's clothes. He took it slowly, making his lover wait trailing feather light kisses down over his stomach muscles to linger for endless, alluring moments before giving the most intimate of the kisses. Ianto writhed in pleasure, his fingers entangle in sweaty brown hair.

He lay awake on bed; Ianto had been sleeping for almost an hour now. He had tried it also, but after just a quick sleep, the nightmares awoke him again. Ianto stir on his sleep mumbling something Jack could not catch, with his face relaxed and no suit, he looked more like his real age. Ianto stir again and move around giving his back to Jack.

"You see, the more I think about it…" –He started caressing Ianto's hair. –"It is pointless to say I love you ten or thousands times over. I have giving up falling in love; all I need to do now is to protect the ones I hold close."

**Note: _Hope you enjoy it as much as I did… Thanks to my beta "Cloudslover" for allowing me to bug her._**


	6. Hard to Say

**Disclaimer: Not mine! I wish, but sadly no.**

**VI**

**Hard to Say (Meat).**

One more kiss could be the best thing; one more lie could be the worst. Now these thoughts are never resting and you are not something I deserve. In my head there is only you now. This world falls on me, in this world, that is real and make-believe this seems real to me. No matter how hard I try I cannot escape this sins inside I know.

Angry as he was Jack went in to his office and could help but stare in to the CCTV. Yes, he was envious of what she had. He was mad for other reasons, not because he was jealous. Gwen reminded him of himself back when he was younger, not caring who he hurt on his way to the top. He just wanted to have fun, to live life the fullest. One day he crashed with reality and finally understood that was not what he wanted. He was trying to save her from the crashing; he knew she had something good with Rhys, but apparently, she was taking it for granted, that is why he felt the need to tell her not to let it drift at any given opportunity.

"Don't let it drift…"- He mutter the words to himself, closing his eyes. Then he remembered he had not heard a sound on the hub in like an hour. He turned his attention to the CCTV again but now looking for somebody else, when he could not find it he cursed, and got up from his chair. –"Toshiko!"

"Yeah,"- She popped her head out of his computer screen.

"Where is Ianto?" – Toshiko just shrugs her shoulders not really wanting to give him an answer.

"He went home." – Owen replied coming up from the autopsy room.

"And under whose authority he did that?" – He took his best Captain pose, which gain him a glare from Owen.

"I sent him home, and I also told him to take some days off." Jack gave him his best "How dare you order my boy around" which did not work on Owen. – "If you did not notice today, he was held at gunpoint and beaten. I examined him when we got back; he had one broken rib and bunch of bruises, so I gave him some pain killers and sent him home to rest."

"How come he did not say anything to me?" – More to himself than to Owen.

"Because you were too busy yelling at Gwen." – He passed right by Jack and started collecting his things. – "Well I guess we are done for the night. Let's go Tosh! I will drop you off."

They left, leaving Jack behind. It took him only three second to figure out what was the right thing to do. Picking up the great coat, he got out in a hurry.

"Ianto you sleepy." – He used his spare key to get in to Ianto's flat. Only the soft sound of the water in the shower greeted him. Lying on top of the coffee table there was still a used cup of Tea, empty but still warm. Knowing Ianto's neatness, he was still up. The sound of the shower keep going until an idea assaulted Jack. He runs to the bedroom and kick open the bathroom's door.

"Jack? What the hell…" – trying to cover himself with the shower curtain. – "YOU SCARE ME!"

"I thought… Wow…" – Trying to contain all the perverted thoughts that were starting to crawl in the back of his mind. He turned around allowing Ianto some privacy. – "I thought you fell and were unconscious or something."

"Well obviously I am not!" – Grabbing his pajama pants and covering himself. – "And still you could have knock if I would not answer then enter. Did something happen?"

"No, is just that you left without telling me and I…"

"Owen sent me… I did not tell you because you looked pretty mad. So since I was done with my job, I left." – He is hair still dripping wet. – "I was going to call you once I was done."

"Sorry, think I over did it…" – Hand on his head, he sits on the toilet. – "Does it hurt?" - Ianto nodded and simile, for some reason he could not actually believe Jack was that worried -

"Only when I laugh." – Ianto goes and stands in front of Jack, putting his hands between his. – "So please don't make me."

"I did worry about you… And I did though of saving you when he was holding you hostage." – Ianto brought Jack's fingers to his mouth in a caring way.

"I know."

"Is just that…"

"Believe me, I would have never forgive you if had treat me like a damsel in distress. So, thank you for not doing it." – He reaches down and places a soft kiss on Jack's forehead.

Jack just gave a nodded and smile. That was his Ianto, even in danger not a fragile thing that could easily break.

"I am going to bed." – He let go of Jack's hands and started to walk out of the bathroom.

"Would you like me to give you a massage?" – Jack offered, letting out one of his best smiles.

"Owen said not to let you touch me." – He turns around in the door to face Jack once more. – "How did he found out anyway? I thought nobody knew."

"I do not know, maybe he figured out on his own, just like Tosh did." – Jack gets up, and holds Ianto by the waist.

"Well she did not exactly figure it out by herself…" - resting his head on Jack shoulder –"She found one of the tapes you forgot to erase. God I am tired! I think those pills are starting to kick in." – letting go and walking to bed.

"Do you think Gwen knows?" – He follows Ianto and helps him in to bed, getting rid of his own clothes leaving only the boxers.

"Do you care?" – Ianto replies sounding more sleepy than aggravated.

"Ianto…I …Is just that…" – He was getting in to bed and stop at the middle of the process, but Ianto pulled him in.

"Don't say it…Just don't" – He kept his eyes close welcoming the warm of Jack's body who was now lying next to him. – "Say it when you actually mean it, not just because you feel you have too."

Ianto felt a sleep, resting his head on Jack's chest while Jack gently stroked the hair in the back of his head. Hearing the soft snores of his lover, the idea of sleeping started to temp Jack, but not before, he finished what he had to say.

"I am afraid I do mean it."

**Authors Note: Thanks for taking the time to read all this nonsense.**


	7. Quarter after One

**Disclaimer:**_Not mine, but that will not keep me from dreaming._

**VII**

**Quarter after One…**

**_Reaching for the phone, because I cannot fight it anymore. And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time. Said I would not call but I lost all control and… Guess I would rather hurt than feel nothing at all. And I do not know how I can do without. I just need you now_**

How can you miss two days, one thing is to lose an hour or two while doing nothing, but unable to recall forty-eight hours was more serious. No one seem to know what happened it had been a Monday the last time he remember waking up and then suddenly was Thursday morning. The whole team woke up in the Hub, unable to remember how they got there that particular morning; it was just like they slept there apparently. Everyone seems to be tired and not in a good mode.

For some reason the Hub was a mess just like any other day, the pets have been feed according to schedule that was weird, since Ianto was the only one in charge of it, and no one else ever have offer to do so, not even jack. He had finished cleaning the vaults and was heading up with coffee in hand.

After denying, he had bought Toshiko flowers which caused Owen to leave first. Gwen followed him shortly after saying that she needed to see if Rhys was all right. Tosh stayed to check further in the computer trying to find out what the hell was going on. Jack goes in to his office; Ianto was debating on going home. For some reason he was tired, his eyes were puffy and red as if he had been crying all night, and a massive headache was starting to pulse in the back of his head. He was leaving to check in the archives, when he heard Jack calling him.

"Did you ah…call?" –Ianto said not really sure if he should go in to the office, Jack seem occupied with a weird artifact.

"Found your diary." –He waved the notebook at Ianto, with a wicked smile on his face.

"Ah, yes…I have been looking for that." –He grabbed the book and started walking away, while thinking "maybe if I don't linger Jack will not attempt anything"

"And for the record, measuring tapes never lie." –There it was the impersonation of pure evil, named Jack. Even if he had not read it, he just took a quick peek into it when it had suddenly fall open on the floor, he knew that comment had caused more damage than a hot kiss in the middle of the conference room with everybody looking. He knew his Ianto, shy to the bone!

"Fuck." -Ianto mumble while rolling his eyes, he knew that if he said it at loud Jack would have taken it as an invitation, even thou the thought of Jacks hands running down his naked body caused him to quiver he fought back a moan has he quickly made his exit. Yes, he ran out for he knew the Captain far better than what Jack thought, and especially how persistent he could be, for Jack could turn a reluctant no to a howling yes, he blushed at the thought for he seriously doubted that his body could cope Jacks alluring stare at the moment.

After just a while, Ianto started pondering if a pot of fresh coffee was a good idea. There was only Jack whom had not come out of his office and was being very quiet. Toshiko who was still trying to figured out who had mess with the CCTV, all the while trying to probe that the flowers were indeed from Owen. And lastly that had left him who for the first time in months just wanted to go home, take a shower, and lay down. He was about to pour water in to the old coffee maker when he heard Jack asked Toshiko what the hell she was still doing there, and to finally go home. He put the water down and with the full intention of not looking to eager; he went up into the main room.

"You too Ianto, go home." –Jack said without even looking at him. It did hurt just a bit, knowing that his presence was not required for the rest of the day, but still he knew if he stayed he could not possible give the performance the Captain was looking for.

"If it is all right with you, Sir." –Then he turned to Toshiko, now wearing his usual "_how may I help you_" face. –"I will drop you off."

Toshiko just nodded feeling the tension emanating from Ianto. She looked at Jack but apparently, the Captain was oblivious of the whole situation. She accepted her coat from Ianto's hands and saw Jack waving good-bye. Ianto had materialized an umbrella from god knows where which was very convenient since it look like it was raining.

"I wonder how Jack can be so blind sometimes…" –Toshiko said looking out at the window.

"Tell me about it…" –She heard Ianto's answer and it was only then when she realized she had said it at loud. A blush crept to her face, and she dare to take a peek at Ianto's who kept his eyes on the road not showing any emotion.

"Ianto… I am sorry I did not mean to…"

"Do not worry…" –He gave her a hurt smile, which made her heart sank at the knowing that her friend was hurting. -"I am used to it… Go on, get in, take a warm shower, and rest, it is not like we get a day off very often."

"Ahh, two days I still do not get it… Do I… Smell?" –She asked before getting complete out of the car.

"Amazingly you don't…" –He gave her a more sincere smile.-"Me in the other hand…"

"You always smell good Ianto!" –She got out of the car and gave him a kiss on the cheek thru the window. –"Take care, I will see you tomorrow!"

The solitude of his apartment welcome him, as he thought everything was as he remember leaving when he got out to work on Monday. He did not feel like eating for he was too tired, to eat. He got in the shower and half way thru it, his body started screaming to go to bed. Got out of the shower, and went straight to bed, his body welcoming the feeling of a soft bed. He felt a sleep almost instantly. The ringing of a phone woke him up. For a second he thought he was still dreaming, the phone kept ringing it sound it so far away, his brain finally woke up, maybe it was an emergency. He looked for it only to find it on the floor still inside of his pants. He stared at the caller id, as if he did not know the number calling.

"Jack, is everything OK?" –He sat on the bed waiting to hear the worst.

"I woke you up! Did I wake you up?" –Ianto could hear the nervousness in his voice something so unlike Jack.

"Nah, well just a bit… I was gonna get up any way." –he could not help to yawn. –"What happened is everything Ok?"

"Yeah, yeah! Is just that… Have you eaten yet?" –A short pause from Jack, as if trying to decide exactly what to say.-"Do you wanna go eat somewhere?"

"Jack, have you notice is after one." –He smile, wondering where was this heading –"I am sure not much is open this late."

"Well you are hungry or not?" –Still, the hesitation lingered in the voice of the Captain.

"Well now I am. I will check my fridge and see what I have here." –Walking towards the kitchen.

"Ianto…" –The Captain soften his voice.

"Yes."

"Open the door."

"You want me to tell you what I have on my fridge!" –Ianto stop, looking at the fridge.

"No," -Jack gave a sigh –"Open the front door, let me in."

Ianto's heart stop at the idea, he could not help but run to the door. Oh, if the Captain was playing a trick on him he was going to pay. He tried to regain calm, and then open the door.

"What the devil are doing? Have you been out here all this time?" –Jack just gave him a smile for an answer. –"Well."

"See I do listen to what you say." –Getting in while carry a plastic bag with food apparently. -"I called ahead. I bought Thai, got you chicken and noodles, thought it was too late to eat spicy curry." –Ianto just looked at him in disbelief. –"What?"

"Are you drunk?" –Still not moving from the door.

"No… Why would I be drunk?" –Setting the food on the table. Then he gave a sigh. –"I have to be drunk to want to have dinner with you? Come seat and eat."

"What if I had told you that I ate already?" –Grabbing his noodles from Jack's hands.

"Well, there is a homeless guy down the street I think he would appreciated my gesture. Unlike others." –Said the Captain with a boyish grin, which made Ianto smile. –"Ian… Can I ask you a question?"

"OK, but do not judge me if the answer is no." –Said Ianto in a playful way.

"Is not that kind of question, and I know by experience you always say yes." –He lean and gave blushing Ianto a chaste kiss on the cheek. –"When I said I came back for you. You did not believe me did you?" –Ianto just looked at him not really knowing what to say, knowing the answer might spoiled the night. –"Just a simple yes or no, Ian."

"No…" –He said softly almost inaudible, and he regretted immediately.

"May I ask why?" –Jack pulled Ianto's chin up so he can look on his eyes.

"I think…Self preservation… You left and it hurt… And then when I least expected you came back like nothing." –His heart was pounding so loud he was afraid Jack would hear it. He pulls his eyes away turning his attention to his food.

"Aren't you tired of playing this game?" –Ianto looked at him in an asking way. –"Is like we are playing rope, we both pull until one of us has to let go. Aren't you tired of pulling?"

"Are you…" –His heart pounded even harder.

"Yeah…Why don't we both let go, take a break at least for one night." –Grabbing Ianto's face to have his whole attention. –"Only for tonight can we be just you and me, Ianto and Jack. Not Captain, no Tea-boy, no Torchwood. Would you let me have normality at least for tonight?"

Jack pulled Ianto in a kiss, digging his hands under the soft material of Ianto's shirt. The kiss went deeper, Jack looking for comfort in his lover's arms, and Ianto trying to give as much as he could, that was went Ianto realized he was not allowed to answer not to Jack's question, and nor did he wanted to.

**Author's Note**_**:**__ I know _**"IT'S SO FLUFFY"**


	8. It's Complicated

**Disclaimer:** _Do not own…But maybe someday…_

VIII

**Is Complicated… (We Dabble.)**

_**Love changes everything: Days are longer, words mean more, brings you glory, brings you shame. Nothing in the world will ever be the same. Makes fool's of everyone. All the rules we make are broken. Love changes everything: Now I tremble at your name**_.

"These are the new credentials for Martha, Sir. I thought you may want to check them before going on with the plan." –Said Ianto getting Jack's attention, while setting some papers and a small Ziploc bag on the Captains table. Turning around, trying to make his leave.

"Are you for some reason mad at me, Ianto?" Taking the bag into his hands, he barely even looked at it; as he kept his attention only on Ianto.

"Whatever made you think that?" –Still not turning around to face Jack. For he had always had found it rather difficult to lie straight to Jack's face and Jack knew this but he had never said an anything.

"Well for one, that thing you have me drinking… I am not sure what it is but definitely is not coffee." He put the box back on his table still not open. –"Is this because of what happened earlier on the lab?"

"I do not know what you are talking about." –Yes, the flying cookies had a lot to do with it, but that was only the beginning. He heard Toshiko call his name and thought it was the perfect opportunity for an escape.

"Ianto… Don't ignore me!" –Seeing the young man about to walk out of him.

"_Like you do?"_ –Ianto wanted to shout, but instead he took a deep breath and saved all in as always. –"I am not ignoring you Sir; I am jus in a bit of hurry. What should I order for dinner?" He gave him one of his best smiles, the one that say, _"You should not trust me with your food, believe me." _

"I don't know… I am standard anything would be fine. Ask the others." –Said Jack now, for once paying attention to the credentials in his hands. Ianto was heading for the door, again. –"You know what? I want chicken!"

"What kind of chicken?" –Ianto gave a sigh, and rolled his eyes up. –"Fried, roasted, noodles, my liver on a plate…" –He mumble the last part turning around only to find Jack standing right there in front of his face holding a wicked smile; a smile that held so much promise.

"What about the type that runs every time he gets mad at me" –Jack got very near Ianto's lips not actually placing a kiss on them; but slightly rubbing them agents his own.

"Jack… There… There are people in the hub…" –Jack tongue was now tracing a wet pattern along Ianto's jaw line, slowly heading south.

"And…" –The words were purred in his ear, making his skin hot, and his clothes way to uncomfortable.-"Do you want me to stop? Or do you want me to call them in?" –Ianto's back hit the wall not actually sure when he had move. Jack's right hand was fiddling with his tie. His left hand was… Well, let's just say Ianto had growing concern about where Jack's hand was.

"No," –He could not help but moan the words; Jack's left hand had found his way inside his zipper.

"No I don't stop or no I don't call them in?" –Tie was off, now his hand was going for the first button of that red shirt that looked so good on Ianto, but looked even better on the floor.

"Jack…" -he could not help but quake with need -"don't... We… Ahh… I have work to do…" -Rocking against Jack's hand, trying so hard not to be aware of where he was; as he over and over again told himself that this was defiantly not the time to be overcome by Jacks passion; a passion he could easily drown himself in.

"Well Mister Jones, you should have thought about that before coming into my office to seduce me…" –He bite down Ianto's chest. –"Now, about my question why are you mad at me? Is it because of what happened with Owen?"

"Jack…" – Ianto was rather desperate on trying to get a hold of Jacks lips; for enough words had already been wasted.

"Ianto" –Jack painlessly to Ianto's own restlessness began to remove his eager lovers' belt -"Well?" – Jack gave him a questioning smile as he caressing him with both hands, making Ianto shudder with need.

"Yeah… you laughed at… me" – He pulled Jack to him trying to give him a kiss, finally giving in.

"I knew it!" –Separating and taking two steps back to look at his masterpiece, a very hot Ianto.-"And you had me drinking coffee with soap water all day as a punishment. Didn't you?"

"It was not soap water!" –Trying to put himself back together, while desperately fixing his clothes. –"It was black ink."

"You made me drink ink. Oh, you so going to paying for this" –Ianto gave him a disbelief look. –"This was just to get the information I needed." Jack pointed to one of Ianto's button; which Ianto fixed immediately.

"Fine…" –He walked out of the room.

He walked into the Autopsy room with Martha trying not to look hot and bother. He was starting to believe he had made it through when she suddenly told him Jack had asked her for a Unit cap for him. He looked at her in disbelief almost not understanding the question. He gave a quick review of it deciding to get out of it in most casual way possible.

"Did he? Well red is my color!" –Running up the stairs in order not to let her see the blush was crawling up to his face.

"Well am I right on thinking you guys…" –She winked, for God sake she winked that was not helping. He took two more steps thinking on what was the appropriate answer.

"We… Dabble…" -What else was he supposed to call it. They were not a couple; Jack had made it clear over and over again. She looked at him even more curios, the same face Toshiko had made when she found out.

"Yeah?" –He could not help but smile, he thought her reaction would have been a bit more like Gwen's, due to her history with Jack, but no she looked actually happy about them.

"Yeah…" –He answer softly, waiting for her reaction.

"What is this dabbling like?" –Damn Martha wanting to know everything just like Tosh, and yet he had no answers, it was just too complicated to explain, it could easily keep him awake all night and still he will not be able to come with an answer that would not made her get an instant nose bleed.

"Innovative!" –She raised her brow and looked even more interested, -"Bordering in the Avant Garde!"

"Yeah?" –She gave him a coy smile, that said please due explain.

"Oh yeah…"- More to himself than other, images starting playing on his head of the so many times that border line had been crossed by the two of them over and over again. The first time it happened he thought it would be a onetime fling; just to get him out of his system, but for some reason Jack kept coming back for more, and he was in no position to deny himself such pleasure. When Jack left, he thought it was actually over, and it was fine at least since Jack was nowhere to be found he did not have to deal with him on a daily basis. That is why he had told Gwen they were just doing it for fun, no commitment, and no strings, so far meaningless. What made it different now? The question got him out of his stupor. He turned to see Martha still standing there waiting for him with a smile on her face as she had just seen all dirty images that played on his head. –"So should we get your cover story solve then?" –Even though just the idea of going into Jack's office terrified him.

"Absolutely"

"Jack…" –He waited at the door, relief that at lease unlike earlier the crew was nearby so hopeful the Captain would try another of his shenanigans. –"Are you done revising the credentials?"

"Yeap." –He got up and approached Ianto with the calm of lion looking at his prey, but before he could do anything Martha and Toshiko entered followed by Owen. -"We still need to talk." –He whisper on Ianto ear before anybody could noticed."

Ianto just nodded, took deep breath, and grab the credentials from the Captain allowing his fingers to linger just for a few seconds on Jack's. He had set his path there was no point on going back now.

**Author Note**_**:**__ Sorry it took so long! -Bows head shameful. -Hope you enjoyed it.  
_


	9. My Beloved Monster

**_Disclaimer:__ I will not lose my faith… Someday I may buy them on EBay…_**

**IX**

**My Beloved Monster…**

_**My beloved monster and me, we go everywhere together. Wearing a raincoat that has four sleeves. Gets us through all kinds of weather. My beloved monster is tough if he wants he will destroy you. He will always be the only thing. That comes between me and the awful sting. That comes from living in a world. That is so damn mean.**_

"You had us worried not knowing where you went." Said Ianto softly, taking seat on Jacks desk. –"How did you find the glove."

"I am sorry." –Said Jack removing his face from his hands, he could not hide the sadness on his eyes. -"You are not accusing me?"

"About what?" –Ianto kept his voice neutral, but softened his gaze.

"Bringing Owen back…" –he avoided Ianto's gaze and his eyes went for the floor. –"Everybody is! They won't say anything but they are."

"You had your reasons, and I bet it was not just because of the alarm code, was it?" –He took one of Jacks hand in his to get his attention. –"I respect that, and so will everybody. Just give them time to process."

"You think so…" -Finally, he looked at him, like a scared child waiting for punishment. –"I am selfish. I just thought of myself."

"Did you? You new Owen was not ready to go and neither were we." –Seconds of pure silence, while Jack stared at him in disbelief. –"Yes, you were selfish but tell me, who isn't… Was not I selfish when I rescued Lisa, when I kept her down here not thinking on the consequences. And even more for not telling a soul about it, and yet you forgave me." –He said with a sad smile. –"Love make us selfish, I know you loved Owen, and I am sure you did it because of that." –He reached and posted a kiss on Jack's temple. –"Come on drink your coffee it would make you feel better." –Jack took a sip, and suddenly the flavor hit him like soft blanket of comfort, he lean down and rested his head against Ianto's legs allowing the young man to caress his hair. –"I take that the coffee is good!" –He suddenly remembered for the last hours Ianto had him drinking black ink. He looked up to find Ianto smiling at him, even though seeing Ianto smiling gave him comfort, Jack had grown afraid of seeing Ianto smiling in the most uncommon situations. He had learn the hard way that his smiles could only mean two things he was either really pissed off at someone, which most of the times was Jack, or he was about to do something evil.

"It's good… Should I be worried?" –About to put the cup down, only to be caught by another smile from Ianto. –"Ianto?"

"Nothing to worry about… Is just that I am trying this new brew I found on the coffee store…" –Jack kept staring at him not actually believing a word… Another reassuring simile from Ianto. -"Is not ink if that's what you're thinking." –He grabbed the cup and took a sip out of it. –"You from all people should know by now that I don't use the same trick twice." –He put the cup down on the desk and turned around. –"I'll go make sure everybody is alright. And I'll get the first Aid kit to clean that wound on your head." –For once taking notice of Jack's wound on the left side of his head. – "how many did you fight?'

"A lot and I did not have time to do a head counting." –He tried to smile while Ianto checked the wound.

"Is really a nasty one. It would have left a mark for sure… If you actually got marks" –He grabbed his handkerchief and started to wipe the blood from the now closing wound.

"They will close eventually you know." –Regarding him with one of the famous Captain Jack's grins. –"I am sorry Mister Jones, were you just proposing a Doctor game? Cuz in that case I think my blood pressure just went up would you mind checking it." –He saw Ianto rolled his eyes. As a man of instincts ruled by his famous pheromones, the fact that Ianto was so near, and also that they almost did it in the office just hours before was not helping Jack in any way. He could see the tiredness was written on Ianto's body. Ianto's body on his desk, naked and moaning beneath him…Oh yeah, definitely a thing to look forward once this bloody day was over.

"Jack…You spacing out on me." –Ianto said to regain Jacks attention. –"You have better not be thinking anything naughty because I am really not in…" –Jack tried in vain to hide his look of disappointment. –"I am sorry is just that I am really tired."

"I thought I had made clear we would do it when we both feel like it." –Getting up and planting a hot kiss on his lover lips, which only left the other one gasping for air and wanting more. –"Unless you let me do you while you're sleeping, I guess would just have to postpone it."

"You are sick you know that?" –Between laughs, Ianto wander if some day he would have to get a spray bottle to get Jack from jumping his bones. –"Drink your coffee…Oh and I suggest at least you change your clothes, I'll take them to the cleaners later." -He turned by the door with a wicked simile. –"About the requested you made to Martha, when I was in middle school they made us wear a cap as part of the uniform, and just to let you know…I made it look good."

Almost spitting his coffee as he was about to take a drink, Jack saw Ianto wink at him as he finally left. He could not help but smile, with all the kinky ideas that were now roaming around in his head, he took a mental note of asking Toshiko to get pictures of Ianto while in middle school, and then make Martha give him a Unit cap even if it meant he had to beg for it. He took another sip of coffee, it was actually good bold with a strong aroma it could possible wake up a corpse in the morning, yet it was Ianto's coffee, nothing but the best was expected. He realized then that the anxiety he had felt was no longer there. Jack headed for his room, and grabbed a change of clothes, after hours of no sleep the bed for once looked so inviting. He made another note, sleeping later on with Ianto was even better. He came up and looked at his desk there was much to do, there were piles of paperwork, he had to called Unit and request an extension for Martha's visit. Moreover, he had to figure out what was he going to do about Owen's new condition. He was about to sink himself in paperwork when Martha screamed.

_**Author's Note**:_**_I know is short, but in my defense I do have a heart…Unlike others (wags finger at RTD) and it was hard to kill Owen, even though he is a zombie now._**


	10. Lately I am Falling ForYou

**Disclaimer: Still not mine**

**X**

**Lately I am Falling for…You.**

_One minute more, a thousand years. It is all the same to me because I am incomplete and I need you more with every breath I breathe. I try to let you know, but my words get tangled up. And every time I find that, I am outside looking in. I cannot let this moment go. When you are the only one that makes me feel the way I feel inside. I do not want to live a day without you. I just want to be the one that makes you happy._

* * *

He could not help but to throw himself on top of the bed, his body was screaming for it; too tired to take a shower. He removed his shoes with his feet as the socks soon followed. His jacket had been the first thing to hit the floor as soon as he entered his flat. In any other occasion, he would have been more careful to place it on a hanger. However, tonight he was too tired to bother; his head was beginning to trove in pain, and who was to blame for it for the first time in months? At least this time it wasn't Jack doing. Oh wait yes he was. He had put Owen in charge of coffee, who does that? Seriously, if he wanted them awake he should just order coffee from the Café down the street. He laid on bed thinking on what Owen had said to him. Jack and he, was it really like that, was he going on missions just because he was shagging Jack, or was it really because Jack saw potential in him.

At the beginning when jack left, he had to become a field agent because they need another hand even if Owen liked it or not. However, now jack was back there was no actual need of Ianto going on missions he could just stay back and do his regular job. Yet, Jack kept putting him on missions, going weevil hunting with him, making him feel more part of the team and less like an assistant or a maid. Yes, his sexual life was not all that, more like zero to nada, before Jack, but still who named Owen judge on that kind of matters. It was not like if there was a rule that says you have to tell your coworkers, friends, and family every time you are getting laid at least not according to Ianto. He turned left and his head gave him a reminder that it was still there, although it felt like it could suddenly fall off.

He allowed his body to fall asleep trying his best to ignore the pounding that seemed to echo in his head. He was awaken by a slow buzzing, somewhere on the room. He got up only to find his phone dancing on the floor, thank God, he had bought the screen protector, or else it would have nice marks on it by now. He sat on the bed phone in hand trying to focus on the screen wondering who the hell had the courage to wake him up after only five minutes of sleeping, well actually four hours of sleep, which was showing three missed calls all from Toshiko. After passing a hand through his hair, he dialed back.

"Tosh is something wrong." -He spoke low in to the microphone. Still not fully awake he could not help but to sound grouchy

"Ohm, no… No! Is just that I was passing by… And I thought of given you a call." –her voice sounded nervous. "Have you eaten yet? I bought croissants; from the café you like…"

"Ohm no, just woke up…"- Huge yawn got in the way. –"Give a second I will open the door… You are outside right?" –He did not even wait for a response as he hung up the phone, and looked for his pajama pants and a shirt.

"You sure I am not interrupting anything…" –She said while walking in, giving a quick look around not wanting to be surprised by a naked Jack all of the sudden.

"Nope... Let me just take a shower. There is the remote if you want to watch some Tele, I'll be back in a minute!" –Having said that, Ianto disappeared to the bathroom leaving Tosh in the middle of the living room.

She sat there looking around, for a guy, Ianto was very neat, and someone could almost say he was raised by Japanese. Everything was in a proper order that only make the small flat look a lot bigger. The smell of coffee lingered in the air. He got out quickly towel still on his head; he wore a shirt, and jeans and no shoes.

"So, what brings you here?" –He said from the kitchen, while starting to make coffee.

"I was lonely…Pathetic much huh?" – She said with a hint of regret.

"Love makes us pathetic…" –He gave her a cup of warm coffee. –"What did he do to you this time?"

"Nothing, you would think I would have got used to being ignored by now…" –Ianto took seat in front of her. –"Well think again."

"And you think talking about it is going to help?" –She gave him a sad smile. –"What do you want me to say? You want me to say that if you stay like this with time everything would be fine or that you should walk away of this situation? I am the wrong person to give advice in relationships!" –He took a sip of his coffee.

"Well… You and Jack…"

"Me and Jack… -He gave a tired sigh –"You are second person that reminds me of that. You know, most of time there is no Jack and me, if any of you have not noticed. The word complicated does not even begin to cover it. He could be so tender sometimes and makes me hope that there is something more and right when I feel comfortable of my feelings he pushes me out of the window. How can you call that a relationship, is more a mix of masochism and pretend love. Convenience is more likely. He is lonely, I am lonely, let us be lonely together and have amazing sex while we are at it. At least with Owen, he tells you straight."

"That does not mean it doesn't hurt." –putting her eyes in the floor. –"I feel stupid I know he does not even like me and yet I kept harboring hopes that maybe someday he is going to realize I am there."

"Welcome to my world…"

"Is different at least you get to have Jack from time to time."

"Oh yeah, different bordering in masochism is more likely." –He gave a deep sigh –"I know there is no future for us, and yet I keep walking by his side without question. I know he does not love me and yet every night I go to bed hoping the next day is going to be different. Pathetic much, oh yeah, but still I won't change a thing."

"Most of the time I envy Gwen she has Rhys, who for some reason loves her. Do you know she ask me to be one of her maids." –she said in a cheerful way changing the mood of the conversation, which made Ianto smile. –"I am gonna have to buy a bloody dress, only to not wear it ever again."

"Hey, pass me the purchasing receipt, maybe I can squeeze it on the invoices without Jack noticing." –stealing a big smile from Toshiko's face.

"What is that noise?" –she said perking her head up all the sudden.

"Speaking of the devil…" –the phone rang for a second time o top of the kitchen table, but Ianto did not seem in a hurry to get it.

"Well aren't you going answer." –she gave him a wicked smile.

"Nope, it's my day off after all… Being alone for a day is not going to kill him unless he commits suicide." –The phone went silent and then it rang the voicemail ringtone.

"Ok, so…Playing hard to get aren't we? At least for a day… So you want to go eat lunch?"

"I thought we just had breakfast?"

"And… Hello depress woman over here!" –She said almost laughing –"I should be overstuffing myself with food. Croissants are not going to do it."

"In that case, I guess I have to give my moral support"

"Let's go to a bar…" –She almost yelled the last part since he had finally got up and got to his room to find a jacket.

"Is three in the afternoon…" –he yell back from the room.

"Well drink Long Island tea then." –Toshiko replied with a smile

He got home, only to be welcome by total silence. Deep down he was wishing to find Jack waiting at his door. However, reality always turned against him. In part, he had to accept it had been his fault he had ignored all Jack's calls since he was out with Toshiko. He did feel guilty for it, but a voice back in his conscience kept telling him he should get a grip and that it was no rule that said he had to answer every single time Jack felt like calling. So he ignored the calls, and flushed his disappointment down the toilet. He decided to take a shower since his hair smell like cigarettes, a buzzing on his pants made him jump in surprise.

"Hello…" –He spoke low in the microphone like a child waiting for punishment.

"You are finally home… How did your day go?" –The voice on the other side sounded severe.

"It went fine…" –Ianto sat in the toilet seat, knowing this was far from good. –"You called to ask how my day went? You were here, weren't you?"

"So… I called you… You did not answer… You looked really tired yesterday, so I thought maybe you fainted while taking a shower." –The voice had change now it sounded more like a kid throwing a tantrum. Ianto bit his lip in order not to laugh at him. –"I waited there almost for two hours thinking maybe you went to the market."

"Well…Sorry you have to wait on me…" –Ianto rolled his eyes while Jack gave a deep sigh. –"Was that it?"

"What do you mean "WAS THAT IT" I was worried!" –again the little kid made his appearance

"I said I was sorry…" –Said Ianto in the most neutral tone he could manage. –"What else do you want me to do?"

"Well aren't you going to invite me in?" –Ianto could almost see the huge grin on Jack's face.

"Nope"

"Are you even alone…or…" –The kid was now kicking and screaming.

"No Jack, I brought home a hot date…" –He could not hide the exasperation on his voice-"And you?"

"Of course I am alone…"

"Well then it sucks to be you… Good night Jack."

"Can we at least have breakfast tomorrow…" –His voice sounded more calm

"You realize I will have to get up at seven to do so…" –He gave a deeper sigh looking at the wall clock.

"Would you?" –He could almost see it big blue puppy eyes staring at him.

"Yes… Good night."

"Good night Ian… See you tomorrow." –Jack hung up first. Ianto stood sitting on the bathroom smiling at the phone like a silly kid who just realized that the next day was his birthday.

* * *

**Authors Note:** Well there it is, finally out of my system… Thanks for taking the time and read all this nonsense that goes through my head


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